lizabeth

So today was the first day of the wii Fit and I LOVE IT!! My wii fit age is 34 and my husbands is 37! hahaha

It weighed me and it said that I was 198 I believe it because the scale I have is broken. I thought it was off by 2 pounds but I guess not. And I go to see the doctor soon so I will let you know if it was lieing.

I also go Jullian Michael’s 30 day shred today but I haven’t had time to exercise.

So today I did aerobics and strength training. I love the hula hoops!! I can feel myself working out my abs and the running is fun. I’ve been having funny pains near my gallbladder so I didn’t want to do too much. I have no idea what is going on but I don’t want to resort to taking pain killers. I do take Ibu but that was for inflamation if my gallbladder is inflamed. I think it was from the grill cheese sandwich I had. I only had one. But I think it was the american cheese. I thought it was low fat but when I looked in the fridge today … well it had a lot of fat! AH!!

I just started to retake the gallstonex stuff. I haven’t taken it in a while. I feel really light headed right now … But I can’t tell what my body wants right now. It’s been acting up all day like I’m getting the stomach flu or something. I dunno. Hopefully no pains tomorrow and no more stomach problems either.

Well I better get to bed. It’s late. Another busy day tomorrow

My husband and I had a discussion we are going to buy the wii fit. We were both skeptical about it until I hung out with my friend a couple of days ago. She looked really good. She told me because of the wii fit. She said she bought it after trying to get to the gym but she never had time because of the kids and her husbands schedule. She lost 25 pounds in 3 months along with dieting. She loves it so that convinced me because for 60 bucks a month [that’s for 2 memberships] We would probably go to the gyms maybe 5 times a month. So I think it would be more accessable for me to do that. Recently I have been walking the dog in the mornings and then walking with my kids when my daughter is practicing riding her bike.

I have been really dieting. wild rice and fish and veggies haha I’ve been getting a lot of indegestion lately and I think it’s because of my gallbladder. I hope there isn’t a gallstone that’s stuck in my bile duct. AH! I want to lose 40 pounds before I have to get surgery! ::cries::

But I also bought Jullian Michaels 30 day shred. My aunt recommended it.

Has any one else used the wii fit??

Who commented and helped me with their suggestions. I realized when I am really hungry … And when my tummy is being a loud digester haha

But today was better.

Had breakfast oatmeal and water.

lunch ramen noodles with corn yum!!

and dinner shell pasta [just boiled] with more corn and canned salmon. yummy!

I have been feeling better. I really like this band Cursive and their new album made me feel better. The writer Tim Kasher … the way he expresses himself is how I feel. He has done that with every album and this is between us buddies but if I wasn’t married … I would probably try to marry him!! haha.

Today exercise was just walking … my back is still hating me. And I have been really busy with my kids. But I must be doing something right because the pounds are coming off … it’s probably water. But it makes me feel better about myself that the numbers on the scale keep going down and down.

But thank you to everyone with your suggestions! I hope I didn’t sound like I was whinning haha. I do that a lot with out realizing it.

Ok so when I do eat breakfast this is what I will eat.

orange juice or fat freee milk, Oatmeal with whole wheat toast with just honey [i hear having that for breakfast keeps hunger away]

Or I will have cereals like Raisin Bran or Shredded wheat or special k with whole wheat toast with honey.

And I know it’s hunger because my stomach will growl.

I drink plenty water through out the day

I will have a snack after breakfast It’s usually fruit or veggies with water

or fat free yogurt with water

then for lunch I will eat half of a sandwhich like light tuna, canned salmon or lean lunch meats with fat free mayo [serving size is like … 1/8 of a teaspoon] mustard lettuce tomatoe whole wheat bread

with a small bowl of light soups like progresso light or just tomato soup with water not milk

then snack will be fruit or skim milk string cheese with 100 percent juice [i’m usually feeling tired around this time]

and dinner is usually Lemon Water mmm chicken or fish grilled or steamed broccoli [lots of broccoli it’s my fav] a salad and either rice [i try to eat more brown rice … but i don’t really like it haha so I use basmati rice a lot] or a baked potato with a dash of salt and pepper to taste no butter no sour cream I just spray some ranch salad spritzer on it … like 2 or 3 sprays … I LOVE salad spritzers! They should have them at restaurants! haha

and after dinner if I am still craving something I’ll have fat free sorbet or a little bit of soy cream [soy ice cream] and a glass of water after wards

I brush my teeth 3 times a day …

and during the day I FEEL LIKE I’M STARVING!!! It’s like I eat breakfast and all my body wants to do is eat …

before I was just drinking slim fasts to substitute but I can’t drink it any more because of my gallbladder issues.

But ok on the days that I don’t eat breakfast

rarely I will have a cup of coffee with splenda and powdered creamer

then I just drink water during the day

for lunch it’s usually just some grain rolls and low fat string cheese [just 1]

and then dinner ….

no dessert.

WTF

I only eat when I am hungry ….

maybe it’s phsychological … maybe it’s all in my head … but on the days that I do eat breakfast and I feel like I’m starving I will sit there and concentrate on what my body is telling me. I will drink something and sit down and listen … my stomach is making noises and it’s growling … doesn’t that mean it wants food???

The main reason why I am stressing out about it is because I don’t want to eat to much period and it’s not because of me trying to lose weight it’s because I am scared to death of my gallbladder.

And no I will not have it removed …. just yet because I will probably have bowel problems after wards!

So I guess that’s why I am complaining Oh and I’m also complaining is because I read and so many of you have told me to eat a hearty breakfast … I think that’s pretty hearty!

Why is it when I eat breakfast I am hungry ALL DAY!!! and if i just have a cup of coffee in the morning or no breakfast at all I can control my hunger!!!

I mean what’s the deal??? I hate feeling like I am hungry. I hate it!! I was really bad when I was pregnant … when I felt hungry ate … and then being straight on Depo Provera right after I had my son … I was always hungry!!! GAH!

I don’t starve myself. When I don’t eat breakfast its usually because of 2 things … I’m busy or I get up really late.

But I noticed today that when I had a cup of coffee this morning … I didn’t feel hungry at all I ate some lunch a little snack and barely ate dinner actually …

any ways … I just keep on repeating myself.

…. I though the point of eating breakfast was to keep hunger at bay … not to real it in ……

I am tired of feeling like a burden to everyone.

I pick my sister up from school I forgot my phone because it was charging. So I waited. I drove away to see if I could see her and I saw her. So I turned around, honked my horn, and she just stood there … so I move up closer … she just stands there!! finally the car infront of me I pull up and then she gets in the car! WTF! Then she makes the comment “Why didn’t you bring the van?” Man I wanted to slap her!!!!! WTF!!!! What’s the difference I’m picking up your lazy ass!!!!

She’s turning 19 this year she JUST got her license … She wants to have her own car but is she trying to get a job to pay for a car???  NO! so she shouldn’t fucking complain!

Grr that just really set me off!

I do A LOT for her … and she’s just lazy and expects everything to be handed to her.

And it’s not just her … my father!!

I can never do anything right!! For Anyone! Not Even my kids. No one except for my husband approves that I am homeschooling my daughter!

It’s like they don’t have faith in me. They never have. I have never had anyone support. Man I have a lot of issues still. I feel like no one understands me. My husband … he always got what he wanted. He never had to work for anything.

Man it’s days like these I just want to pack up my shit and leave. I have been dealing with this all of my life. I will never be what they want me to be. Why are parents like that? I know I am not like that with my daughter. I love you and I always make sure she knows that! Even when I am angry with her because she doesn’t listen or do what I ask.

I don’t know why I always have to work so hard for things!!!! Why can’t it be easy just for once. Why do I feel like I need to please everyone!!! WHY!!!

Just because I don’t have a job doesn’t mean that all I do is sit around the house all day! I never have time to do anything for myself. It’s always taking care of everyone else!!!

but why is it when I can’t take enough and I explode I am the one out of line!!! WHY IS THAT!!! WHY CAN’T I VENT AND EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!!!!!!

I feel so alone … a lot. I feel like I cannot talk to anyone. I wish I had someone who understood.

I need a good nights sleep

the dress that I’ve been wanting to fit into is a size M so that’s 7/8 -9/10 and bust 35 - 36

I haven’t been a 7/8 in almost 3 years. So Sad!

But I WILL do it!!!

I’m hoping by the summer. It’s a summer dress and I’ve been saying I will fit into it for almost 3 years! haha

So my goal is by august to be 160 by the time I go to Massachusetts.

and HOPEFULLY my goal weight 135 in October before halloween.

Halloween is my hubby’s birthday and I want to wear a costume that I bought before I became pregnant and FAT!

 grrrr I’m grumpy today. Back is killing me!

and I couldn’t find my son’s pacifier and my husband is always moving things around and I can never find anything! GAH!!

I am hungry. My stomach is growling so much but I don’t want to eat anything. I’m afraid of having a gallbladder attack! NO!!

I’m really tired though. I think I will put in a movie and try to fall asleep. I will no resort to drugs! haha kidding.

nite everyone.

So I’ve lost 2 pounds this past week. I wonder if my scale is broken. No gallbladder attacks YAY! I have been seriously watching what I’ve been eating. Limiting myself to 1g of saturated fats.

I use the spray oil for cooking.

I did happen to eat about 4 or 5 of my daughters french fries … and some reduce guilt potato chips. [sorry french fries are my weakness … eveb talking about them right now makes me crave them]

Everytime I ate french fries I never had a gallbladder attack it was always with Cheese or fatty dairy like Pizza or Ice cream!!! NO!!!

But my mother and I went to Trader Joes and found some DELICIOUS soy ice cream. It is really good. It has a sort of nutty taste to it but I really like it!!

gah I am so hungry. haha my stomach just growled too. I have been sleeping in too much. I need to quite that.

So that’s pretty much it. The only form of exercise I’ve been doing is chasing my kids around and gardening. haha. No gym yet.

[we’re waiting for our tax return for that]

Well that’s it for now.

Today I need to clean clean clean! And inflate my yoga ball. and USE IT! haha

So it has been a while since I’ve been on here. I am still dieting … well it’s actually not dieting I am just eating foods that don’t give me gallbladder attacks.

I don’t need surgery … yet … to have my gallbladder removed. I chose not to have surgery because having gallstones is a reminder that “no I can’t eat that because I will be paying for it later …. LITERALLY”

So I’ve lost 3 pounds … yay! haha. I have been doing moderate exercise [just walking pretty much oh and the wii haha]

Next week My husband and I will be signing up for gym memberships. YAY. I’m glad he wants to go too so I wont be alone and I wont be bothered by other people!! ^_^

So that’s been pretty much that has been going on.

=]