lizabeth

It’s early in the day but I have accomplished what I needed to do today. Hooray!!!

I need to get a gym membership. My mom goes to the gym so I asked her to add me onto her membership. She said she will. I told her I’d pay the monthly fee.

I’m just a little worried because my mom is a member of LA fitness and um … she is always getting hit on. She wears her wedding ring but these OLDER men are always hitting on her.

I’m not trying to say I’m hot and stuff but I don’t want to be bothered by men when I am trying to work out. I think that’s why I’ve been so reluctant to get a gym membership.

I mean why do people do that??? I’m wont be there to flirt I will be there to work out to get fit for myself. GAH!

haha.

right now I am putting songs on my iPod so when I do go to the gym I will be listening to music and ignore those perves haha.

So guys and gals … who also gets hit on??

yoga 30 minutes

walk 2 miles.

I WILL accomplish this today! =]

So today I really did try to get back on the Yoga ball. No success. My son kept bugging me everytime I tried. So I ended up putting on one of my favorite CD’s and just danced with my kids. After the first song I was out of breath!! haha. I know I’m not going to a club anytime soon!! I’d pass out at the end of the night!! haha. But I was able to do it for about 30 mintues. I’m hoping once the kids are in bed I will be able to something!!

I am so tired of being depressed because of my weight. I started to exercise once I hit 160 pounds. Then I became pregnant. I didn’t do much exercise because apparently my son wasn’t growing in the womb and I was constantly going to NST [non stress testing] to make sure that my son was doing fine in the womb.
He was 8lbs 2oz. Yeah.
So after he was born which was 14 months ago I went back onto birth control. Depo because I was breast feeding and it was pretty convenient. Well I have gained over 30 pounds from it. Nice. Once I started to notice that I was gaining at least 3 to four pounds a month I went on a serious diet. No fast foods, i consumed foods low in sodium, I exercised at least 30 minutes to an hour a day and I was still gaining weight. My doctor (a man haha) didn’t want me to get off depo until the year was up. I basically starved myself for the last 3 months. My doctor ended up going to a different Medical Center and I ended up with a new doctor (female) She let me stop Depo and I thought it could’ve been my thyroid since I have a family history of it. Both of my grandmothers had Thyroid problems. One of them actually had it removed. And my aunts have overactive thyroid.
But that wasn’t the case because the next time I saw my doctor I lost 6 pounds. Cool huh. haha.
But we have found out that I have gallstones … not so great and I really REALLY need to change my diet.
I pretty much need to eat salads for the rest of my life because anything with any type of fat in it … I get the most excruciating pain!!
ugh….

Ok I am getting off subject here. I am unhealthy. My heart is working a little harder. My blood pressure has gone up a little bit. My cholesterol is good but my LDL is 86 and my HDL is 33 not good so I need to raise that.
I just want to be back in shape. And I am really REALLY disappointed in myself for taking so long.
I’m tired of avoiding my friends because of how insecure I feel about myself.
I’m always getting “you don’t look fat” but I have rolls everywhere!!!
My husband … really doesn’t help me. I feel really alone. And I hate when he tries to give me advice because He is a string bean and I am a fat tomato!!
I hate it! But I don’t do anything … or haven’t right now!!
I am so stressed out!!! I don’t want to have surgery!! I am tired of myself
UGH!!! I know I just need to get off my ass and do it. And I feel so good when i do …
But the hump I am trying to get over is this Depression. And also … when I was 135 my husband well … wasn’t paying attention to me … so what’s the point??
I don’t want him to think I am doing this for him. I am NOT!!!!! and I mean that. I want to feel better about myself.
I know I can do it … but I wish I had more support.
I try not to get discouraged but sometimes it’s so hard.
I know I am not the only one that’s why I am here to show myself that I am NOT the only one.
I don’t want to go to a gym because I am too embarrassed but I never seem to have time for myself at home.

AH!! I just need to shut up and DO IT! PERIOD!
THE END!